The Silver Moon Page 4

  While you write, just as you keep your main characters topmost in your mind do the same for your reader, your fourth protagonist. She will reward you handsomely for giving her a place in your story.

  DESCRIPTIVE NARRATIVE

  In a writing class the first written assignment is titled: ‘The sun rose in Africa’. I give class members half an hour to complete what is invariably around five hundred or so words of descriptive narrative.

  I then call the writing to a halt and explain that in modern terms the reader has visually experienced being just about everywhere. We are now virtually in the third generation of colour TV, an age when telephones take pictures and send them together with text messages instantly around the neighbourhood, city or the world. Conversations across continents are practically composed of pictures, sound and immediate action. The scenic beauty of the planet we live in described so eloquently by writers in the pre-electronic age is now pretty redundant. We’ve all seen a hundred sunrises over Africa on TV or elsewhere on electronic media and so when spending words on the glorious happenstance of standing on the top of Mount Kilimanjaro one needs to be fairly selective. In other words, only describe what is essential to your storyline and is original information almost certainly unknown by your potential mass readership.

  Of course, occasionally you will need to set a mood and this may require some careful description. But, as a general rule, go easy on the scenic wonder and leave the generally descriptive prose to the poets.

  For example, should one of your characters be working in a kitchen it is not necessary to describe the environment. Most kitchens are pretty similar looking. The same applies with a hotel or restaurant kitchen, every reader has seen this cooking environment a hundred times in real life or on TV cooking programmes that seem to invade the air. As a general rule, describe only what concerns the plot, that is, should the description be omitted the impact of the narrative will be lessened.

  The urge to write endless descriptive narrative goes way back almost to kindergarten. It’s hard-wired within most of us. It comes from times in centuries past when few people had travelled and books were the only journey they could make elsewhere. But somehow it has persisted even into the twenty-first century. Descriptive narrative was a good portion of any essay we wrote in the course of the ten or so years we spent going through primary and secondary school:

  As the sun rose a drop of silvery dew slid down the length of a stork of grass and landed with a bright splash on the back of a small brown snail getting ready for bed.

  Teacher’s note: Well done, Jessica! 9/10 – a stork is a bird. You mean, stalk. signed, Miss Forbes.

  Unnecessary descriptive narrative is a hard habit for a writer of fiction to give up. But ask yourself, is an elaborate and detailed setting essential to your story before you get down to the real action? Do you need it as a necessary element to get underway? Allow me to give you a somewhat exaggerated example of how to leave the non-essential descriptive narrative out while at the same time allowing the reader to supply her own imagined location details and the character in your story to get into the action.

  The sun rose in Africa. For me another hot and pointless day spent in Morocco. God, why did I let myself in for this unmitigated disaster? How could I have possibly talked myself into travelling halfway across the globe to film a boxing match promoted by the International Association of Agnostics between three heavyweights, a Devout Muslim, Orthodox Jew and Charismatic Christian? Each supposedly chosen as the best fighter to represent their particular faith. The eventual winner to establish, once and for all, which of the three religions possesses the divine right to own God Himself? Christ! (Oops.) If the Muslim boxer doesn’t win I’ll probably be beheaded. No! Cancel that last thought or I could be accused of being a racist as well as being patently stupid.

  As a freelance cameraman trying to earn a reputation with the US networks I’ve made some dumb decisions, but this one? Jesus! (Oops again!) To save costs I’ve spent a near-sleepless night in a bug-ridden hotel essentially intended for the less affluent among the locals. It is situated in a cheap quarter of a city I am soon to learn is notorious for its international drug trading.

  Now, as a lone white guy holding a 35mm movie camera on the dirty narrow sidewalk, I suddenly have a sense of being very conspicuous. I spy a taxi and yell, gesticulate, wave madly, trying to compete with the honking, screeching, dodge-’em flow of vehicles that seems to be following no discernible set of traffic rules.

  Success. The taxi turns sharply, dangerously, towards me and then its siren starts to blare. Holy Moses, it’s a police car, the policeman in the passenger seat is pointing an AK 47 out of the window directly at me! I dodge behind a heap of garbage. Etc.

  If the freelance cameraman is a main character we allow the reader to have immediate empathy and concern for what may happens to him. The scene, so briefly painted, allows the reader to enter the story and her own picture of the environment and then elect to get involved. The reader hasn’t had to hack through several detailed paragraphs depicting the coming of the day in a largely Muslim African city.

  Go easy on the pretty descriptive words. Always ask yourself, ‘What does the fourth protagonist already know – or imagine she knows?’ Allow her to bring her own descriptive detail into your storyline. Only show her what she doesn’t know. Didactic self-indulgence using descriptive narrative is not a good characteristic for a popular fiction writer to possess.

  REMOVE THE ADJECTIVES IN YOUR NARRATIVE PROSE

  Perhaps you may be allowed one adjective in every chapter and only then because there is simply no better way of highlighting or describing something or someone. Over-employment of adjectives is often a sign of a novice writer or a lazy one. Try to think of adjectives as secondary words, because the trick is to show rather than tell your story. ‘She was a fabulous person’ tells you nothing. Similarly, ‘They had a marvellous holiday!’

  While I’m at it, watch those exclamation marks. One or two here and there in a book is sufficient. Of course, you may need many more in your dialogue, that is, if on occasion this is peppery or indicates a manner of speech. Adverbs should be watched as well – go easy on that stuff except of course in dialogue, because adverbs are common in the way most people talk.

  It’s not a bad idea to regularly go through your narrative to see whether instead of the dreaded ‘and’ a plain old period (.) will do nicely. Thus making two sharp statements instead of possibly one languid sentence.

  CHARACTER IS PLOT

  As a writer nothing resonates more clearly with me than the words above this sentence. What the character says and does will determine the direction your story takes.

  We all respond to stimulus differently. In other words we see events and feel emotions as individuals. Two people may see the same incident and react to it quite differently. While this response to stimulus often changes with age, how we interpret what we see and feel as adults has a great deal to do with our home environment, religion, societal and national backgrounds. This is not a new thought, but I am constantly dismayed that writers think that a storyline or plot is separate from the characters they bring to the plot to make it work. The plot (or stimulus) cannot take place without the interpretation the characters bring to it. Their backgrounds will determine how the story tells.

  It then stands to reason that you, as a writer, must know your main characters at a very intimate level when you bring them into your narrative. The trick is to allow this knowledge to leak out gradually, so that your reader is intrigued and surprised as she gets to know them. If the characters react to stimulus in a way surprising to the reader’s own background then she must be able to eventually or immediately reconcile her reaction to the character(s) background as you the writer has evolved it to this point in your book.

  In other words, the characters in your book – especially the three major ones – are the instruments with which you have to work. It is they who create the originality in your storyline. Afte
r all, not that many original stories exist – most involve universal emotions such as love, hate, greed, envy, joy, sorrow or despair. It is your job to use these elements to produce intrigue, laughter, tears and original outcomes that satisfy the reader.

  It is for this reason that most storylines involve roughly the same culture as the reader. The great storytellers are those among us who can evolve a character(s) that may possess many alien characteristics that, in the course of events, are understood and enjoyed by readers from many different cultures. By the way, the movies and TV have played an important part in this cultural cross-referencing. Once again we see the role of the fourth protagonist and what she brings as a character into your book.

  However, until you know your major characters very well indeed – so that you can manipulate and play with them while maintaining their essential personalities – it is difficult to make them convincing in your storyline or plot. As a writer, once I have an idea for a book I build the personalities of my usually three major characters months before I start to write. I usually steal bits and pieces from different people I know, who I imagine may fit into the environment in which I am writing. Moreover, it is difficult to keep bits of yourself and your own experience out of a character’s personality. Know your main characters sufficiently well before you start to write to be able to conduct an imaginary conversation with them on a topic of mutual interest.

  Of course you can have more than three major characters in a book, but it’s not a bad idea to include three that last the distance – that is, from when you introduce them until the end, or near the end of your story. You will, of course, have multiple ‘walk-ons’ as characters and others that stay somewhat longer – weekend guests so to speak. But let your fourth protagonist be on intimate terms with your major characters so that she has firm opinions about them even though they are going to constantly surprise her as you reveal the different layers to each with regard to their background, motivations, beliefs and all the other influences that go into making an individual totally believable.

  Remember, for a character to work well he or she should be just a little larger than life so that they jump off the page rather than get buried in the pulp or lost on the screen. In other words, they react to the stimulus you throw at them with a little more impact or derring-do than your reader might if she were undergoing the same circumstances. Don’t go overboard. Superman or woman belongs to the comic books. Just give them a little more impact in a given situation than perhaps someone may create in a similar situation in real life. Not only in triumph but also in disaster.

  USING DIALOGUE, VERSUS STRAIGHT NARRATIVE, TO TELL A STORY

  When your characters speak they tell you much more than what they happen to be saying. ‘Show me, don’t tell me’ is an important aspect of storytelling, perhaps the most important instruction of them all. The author telling the reader what happened versus the characters speaking to allow the plot or storyline to unfold is often the difference between a good book and a mediocre one.

  The Ndebele tribe in Africa have a saying: People are people because of other people. In other words, we understand each other by observing those people around us, how they behave and speak. We make decisions about ourselves and about others by how they employ language – the words they use and the meanings they imply tell us their status or lack of standing they enjoy or suffer in our or their society.

  ‘He badly needs a good kick up the arse’ comes from a very different individual than ‘I say, old chap, may I say that’s going rather too far.’ Or, ‘Mate, do that again and I’ll bust your teeth in!’ Or ‘You’re a disgrace! I don’t know what’s come over you lately, but as your mum I’m ashamed of you.’ As opposed to ‘Darling, you’ve disgraced us all by your atrocious behaviour.’ Or, ‘Righto, that’s enough, no more ya hear or I’m gunna tell ya father – and if I do he’ll beat the crap outta ya!’

  I urge you to look at your narrative flow and where you can change description of the action into interactive dialogue. This is so the reader can judge the situation by how it is affecting the characters personally rather than by being told by the writer how the characters are affected by the situation in which they find themselves.

  Of course, you need both straight narrative prose and dialogue in a work of fiction. But good dialogue brings immediacy into your storyline, brings it alive. One character speaking to another is much more immediate and impactful than if the situation is described in straight prose.

  Make a habit of listening to how the people around you talk. How they make decisions based on their social demographics. If possible, see how close you can get to their background. Most good writers are also listeners and hear not only what is said, but also what remains unsaid. Remember, dialogue doesn’t only emerge from lips but is also compounded and emphasised by gesture and expression.

  POINT OF VIEW (POV)

  You will have come across this before. Almost every writing workshop will emphasise the importance of point of view (POV). Your character should not be ambivalent, but instead should possess an unambiguous point of view, often a very definite one. The writer should be aware of this at all times and while people seldom change their point of view in life, it is common enough in writing where the storyline has as its singular or as one of its purposes to have one character persuade another to change. Or perhaps the experience the characters undergo leads them to change their point of view. The quest for happiness, power, wealth or respect is a common theme in storytelling. The changes your character may have to undertake to achieve whichever of these ambitions is your storyline.

  Metamorphosis and the clash of two or more points of view is a common enough theme in fiction, but it can’t take place effectively unless the writer allows the reader to agree to the character change, or at least understand and accept it as valid.

  Of course, you may have a character with no real point of view – although I recommend you use him or her sparingly. We’ve all experienced a new guest to dinner or over a prolonged situation who answers your numerous questions with monosyllabic replies, then, to make matters more difficult, doesn’t seem the least curious about you and asks you no questions in return. It’s hard work in real life and it’s hard work in fiction – except perhaps in a situation meant to be humorous. To begin to know your characters intimately you need to know their point of view and how they acquired it.

  THE USE OF COINCIDENCE

  Okay, maybe you can use an act of coincidence once in your book. That is, if you have a sufficiently good reason to do so. But NEVER use it to get yourself or your characters out of trouble. When you do so it becomes lazy writing. When your character finds himself or herself in a predicament it’s your job to work them out of it – no sudden unexpected rescue mission out of the blue, no verbal helicopter plucking them out of the jungle to free them from their terrorist captors.

  KEEPING THE BOAT IN THE CENTRE OF THE RIVER

  I find it helpful to think of a story as a boat on its journey from the mountains to the sea – the beginning of the narrative flow to the end of your story. Once in a while the story-boat becomes stranded in the marshes instead of remaining where the stream flows fastest in the middle of the river.

  We have all on occasions made the error of falling in love with a subject or with our own expertise, and telling the reader much more than she needs to know for the story to progress. In other words, the story-boat (narrative flow) becomes diverted from the mainstream and flounders in the dreaded marshes situated every little while along the riverbank.

  These stretches of marshes are simply where the writer is showing off or becoming personally fascinated with subject matter beyond the interest of the reader, rather than giving the reader the continuity of storyline she needs to remain interested in the outcome. Keep the story-boat in the fast-running water, the centre of the stream, so as to drive it as fast as possible downstream to the sea, the conclusion of your story.

  Should your story take place in two time frames,
possibly centuries apart, tell the story in three parts – book one, the situation in the past, book two, the situation in the present and book three, the reconciliation of the two periods to bring it to conclusion. Don’t try to be too clever, keep it simple.

  Alternatively, if the chapters past and present are running parallel, make sure the connections get made between each chapter so that the present and past characters don’t get lost but remain clearly defined and are given more or less equal emphasis so the reader can follow the storyline without difficulty.

  BEWARE OF SENDING MESSAGES

  As a writer or would-be writer of popular fiction, beware of becoming the writer with a cause, a burning desire to persuade the world that your message is the only one and your point of view the correct one. While you may write a book with a strong theme, your job is not to deliver messages but to write so that the reader is persuaded that she has reached her own conclusion and not your didactic message. This can only be achieved if you give both sides of a viewpoint – best done with dialogue to be convincing. Coming directly from the author makes it tricky – your true colours are likely to show. Have a main character representing each side. For instance, in the long-running conflict between Israel and Palestine don’t write simply one or the other’s point of view. Remember always, you are a storyteller. As the great Yiddish writer Isaac Bashevis Singer once said, ‘If you want messages go to Western Union.’